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Thursday, January 05, 2012

BKA


BKA aka below knee amputation, is a surgery which cut off your leg at a measured level below knee.

This is the operation I saw during my second orthopaedic oncall during last Monday night. The patient was the one I clerked before for case report last month. He was actually admitted once last month due to diabetic foot. Ray’s amputation was done before he was discharged. And I thought that he would be okay after that. However, after another 10 days , he revisited our ward again due to the spreading of gangrene again in his left foot.

He said when he was in clinic, the doctor cut through his foot and found a lot of pus inside his foot. It’s a sad thing when you thought that you are already recovered after removing part of your foot, and now the doctor tells you that you have to remove another bigger piece of your leg. His wife once told me before that they were actually having some financial restraints. Even with the help from government’s welfare, it was just enough to drive through their routines. All his children but the eldest one are still schooling. He can no longer work as he feel tired most of the time. ( fatigue is one of presentation for diabetic patients, not that they are lazy. ) His wife can only earn a few hundred bucks by working in a school canteen.

During morning round, our doctor told him that BKA needed to be done on him as the foot was already not viable and also to prevent the colonization of microorganism there. He agreed without thinking too much. He understood. Just that I could not understand why he could be so calm when someone told him that his foot needed to be removed? I guess if I am him, I am gonna cry a whole day long.

Sometimes, it might be just an ordinary operation for us as medical students or doctors, but it plays a huge part for patient’s life. It might be vital for survival but it does affect a lot on patient. I just feel like the psychosocial part is a important part also in managing patient. They are human being, their hearts are still pumping, they still have their feelings which we can never ignore it. Don’t blame them if they are reluctant to accept your decision of management, especially the more invasive one, but try to understand why they feel that way. It does not always appear to be the good choice. It might treat the disease but not necessarily the patient himself.

Appreciate your patients as they are helping you in becoming a doctor. Without them, you can never be a doctor. That’s what I feel and learn from him.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Surgery Posting


Honestly it’s really a harsh time I have been through.

I love reading stuffs in surgery. But somehow, the system, especially the requirement in logbook, dragged me away from the interest.

In surgery, you will get to see how doctors manage the patients not merely through medications, but also surgical intervention. I went into OT (operation theatre) few times, watching doctors doing surgery on patients. I had studied anatomy on books, and now I got to see the real structures in front of me. I could see how careful the surgeons were when cutting the neck and trying to reach for the thyroid with all the great vessels beside it. One of the best surgeries I saw throughout the posting. It was really an amazing experience that made me felt like wanna to be one of them one day later.

Apart from that, we had more chances to perform some procedures compared to paediatrics. It’s so important for us to develop a good skill. Just a bit disappointed for not having any chance to perform some procedures. A good doctor should have a good knowledge, skill, and attitude right?

In the middle of the posting, I guessed most of us were so depressed. The routine was so hectic till we didn’t really have time for study. But, it’s still a great experience. It taught us how to appreciate the time we have for study. It reminded me that having enough time for study is really a blessing. And I feel so grateful for having some good friends in my group teaching me stuffs along the way.

Nevertheless, nothing is perfect. And logbook is really the killing and most stupid part of surgery posting. Logbook was meant to be guiding us in learning the topics that we should learn, but it was obviously not applicable here. Everyone, including me, was rushing for short cases and signatures somehow blindly. When the atmosphere became so tense just because of the stupid logbook, anger and frustration came behind. I knew it.

Anyway, I felt so relieved after finishing surgery posting. I guess everyone felt the same too. It’s over man!

Currently I am in the halfway of orthopaedic posting. Hmm, I am trying hard to hypnotize myself to love it.Aargh! :P I got a great quote from my supervisor, Dr. Halim,

“if your future job is something you like to do, then you will be like having holiday everyday and just doing something you like to do.”

It’s so true. Hope that I will love doing the thing I am gonna to do in the future. :D

Thursday, December 01, 2011

《不生病的生活 實踐篇》 新谷弘實

「希望你成為像野口英世一般了不起的醫生,為人群服務!」

這是我小的時候,母親經常叮嚀我的話。

我出生於一九三五年,當時,野口英世在日本已成為國民的典範,刻印在人們的心中。

他生於貧窮的農家,少年時左手曾遭受嚴重灼傷,後來苦讀成為醫生。他建立起歐美人也難以匹敵的成績,但可惜在研究中因黃熱病而去世。在我幼年時,母親就反覆向我敘述野口英世的故事,而且最後一定不忘叮嚀:「你以後也要做一個像野口英世般的醫生,為人群服務。」

一直接受這種教誨的我,上了小學時就立志成為醫生以幫助大眾。

但現在回想起來,卻有些不可思議。因為,我的老家是在九州的柳川經營棉被買賣的商家,身為長男的我,繼承家業原本是理所當然的事。

我的家庭不像野口英世那樣貧窮,對我的未來也沒有非常高的期待。我也不是因為在學校的成績特別優秀,被認為當一位醫生比繼承家業更為適合。但是母親卻在我尚未就讀小學的三、四歲時,就不斷勉勵我長大以後要「成為了不起的醫生」。

赴美初期,一美元兌換三六○日圓的高匯率,加上繁重的工作與低廉的收入不成比例,生活並不輕鬆,而且還時時感受到種族的歧視。當時,支持我的最大力量就是母親的那句話「成為像野口英世般了不起的醫生」。

美國社會雖然有些地方存在著種族和階級差別,但相對的,也有公平的一面,不論任何人,只要在工作上有傑出表現,都能獲得應有的評價。

赴美八年後的一九七一年,我深刻感受到這種精神。

我經過不斷的研究和嘗試錯誤學習,於一九六九年使用勒除器和內視鏡,成功完成世界首次的內視鏡息肉切除術。一九七一年,我在美國胃腸內視鏡學會中發表這項成果。

成果發表結束,我獲得滿場起立鼓掌的最高規格讚許。所謂「內視鏡外科」的新外科領域也於焉誕生。我聽到久久不歇的掌聲,覺得自己向崇拜已久的野口 英世又接近一步。

我的技術受到肯定後,接觸醫學界各領域名人的機會也大幅增加。其中有一位老醫師,在交談中得知,他在年輕時曾經見過野口英世。

野口英世是我自幼崇拜的人物,我期待從這位老醫師的口中聽到對他的誇獎,因此問了不少有關野口英世的事情。但是得到的回答卻沒有任何稱讚的話。

老醫師說:「野口醫師的成績,老實說,只是沒有人願意做而已,並沒有非他 不可的東西。我倒是覺得你的內視鏡息肉切除術才是偉大的貢獻。」

老醫師的話令我驚訝。為什麼身為諾貝爾獎候選人的野口英世,成績卻沒有受到太高的評價?原來,野口英世的研究領域是誰也不願意接觸的危險工作。

野口英世在美國首先從事的,是蛇毒的研究。蛇毒研究是他唯一得到的工作,於是將自己的命運孤注一擲在此危險的工作上。

他在此賭注上大獲成功。他博得極高的評價,但也使他之後接觸的工作幾乎都帶著危險。他後來相繼從事梅毒螺旋體(Spirochaeta Pallida)、奧羅耶熱(Oroya Fever)、沙眼等研究,最後終於在研究黃熱病時,不幸罹患黃熱病而去世。

以醫學家而言,野口英世的成績可說非常輝煌。不過我了解他的真實情況後,有一件事令我感到相當遺憾。那就是他雖然身為醫師,卻不太照顧自己的身體。野口英世的生活態度並不好。一方面,他廢寢忘食的專心研究,另一方面,他也經常爛醉如泥,大吵大鬧,過著沒有節制的生活。

來到美國,了解了偶像野口英世的真實生活後,我下定一個決心,即「我要成為像野口英世般的傑出醫師,但是決不要仿效他那種會縮短自己生命的放蕩生活」。

我在年輕時,也像野口英世同樣廢寢忘食的努力工作,但因為這個決心,我想出了能夠在短時間內讓身體休息,並恢復體力的方法,得以一直維持健康。

對我而言,野口英世不但是我自小崇拜的人,同時也是一位錯誤示範的醫師,從他身上,我了解到身為醫師必須比一般人更注重健康,以做為病人的模範。

野口英世去世時年僅五一歲,可說是「充實而短暫的人生」。不過,相信他也希望活的更久,以幫助更多的人。他未能實現的「充實而長久的人生」,正是同樣身為醫師的我現在追求的目標。 

《不生病的生活 實踐篇》 新谷弘實

Saturday, November 05, 2011

道歉信

我想每个人的人生里其中一项娱乐就是讲上司、老板的坏话吧~
在他们面前总得摆出一脸恭维尊敬的样子
在他们的背后就高谈阔论地说着他们的种种不是
人生如戏嘛,为了求生活人总得演戏嘛~

我并不是真的因为他大骂我们而不爽,因为我知道那是我们的错误
我明白他也是为了锻炼我们,让我们更有正确的态度去学习行医
我超不爽的只是他骂人的语气很明显是经过了肤色及性别的衡量
结果我就是那个被骂得最狗血淋头还得交道歉信的学生

有时候不是我们不想念书,但log book的要求真的快要把我们逼疯
机会是不等人的,如果有些罕有的病患出现而我们不快点检查把报告写进log book
我们也许再也没机会在这仅仅六个星期的外科病房看到第二个病患了
试想每早630起床730就在病房巡病床过后又有clinic、CT和seminar
有时候连午餐的时间都没了一直到上完课还得去检查自己组的病人
如果有可以填进log book的病患我们又得赶快再检查他们
之后就赶快吃了晚餐就继续on call到晚上11时才离开病房回自己宿舍
再勤劳我也只有力气年多两个小时的书而已

也许他真的有有心想教好我们,让我们学习如何纪律自己
但attendance sheets这个东西对我来说是真的一个的负担
还有他的态度是我最讨厌的其中一种态度 - “hao lian” aka “串”
也许你很厉害但也别那么喜欢show off吧
把我们全当成白痴你就会高兴点吗?
我想一定是,所以你的生活一定是寂寞得非常可怜

终于假期了
选择了不回家留在学校把之前该念却没念的书好好念完
只希望自己的付出是有价值的。。。
为自己加油吧~

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Paediatric posting


Finally, 6 weeks of paediatric posting has been ended.

It was quite an interesting posting. Every morning, we got to rush from USM to HRPZ ll. At there, we met children, we talked and played with them. Furthermore, only one on-call per week, quite “reasonable” lol. Overall, the arrangement was quite okay, just that part of me didn’t really like it as we could not follow up our patient’s condition after leaving HRPZ ll till the next morning. Clerking children is quite a huge difference from clerking adults. We need logical thinking a lot eg: babies can never complain about pain we can never mention things like headache, abdominal pain or dysuria when presenting our cases. And of course it’s tougher to do PE on them as they can be very naughty!

Honestly, I don’t really like children. It’s very irritating when your beautiful morning is full with babies’ cries. However, it’s sad too sometimes when you see those very sick babies or children. I have clerked a HIV+ child with multiple diagnosis found on him. He got a poor family background too. Can you imagine how the child will be next time without a supporting family and good social environment? Another thing is those patients with cerebral palsy or Down syndrome or whatever disease that will burden the parents. Are the parents willing to take care of them? How about their future? I can’t imagine how will I be too when my child is born with any disability. I really respected those mothers that could be so patient and caring in taking care of them in wards. Apart from that, we didn’t have much procedure to be done. BCG injection, baby bathing and a few more only. That’s the boring part.

The good part here was we didn’t have any “killer” doctors. They really judged us based on our performances. I didn’t do well throughout my posting. I know I didn’t cover a lot of things that I should study. I should do better. And I really appreciate all clinical teaching sections as I really learned a lot from doctors, especially those skills and knowledge that I couldn’t get or understand from books.

Anyway, paediatrics has came to an end. Surgery, the busiest posting, would be the next. Hopefully I can manage it better this time. Good luck to everyone. :)

Friday, October 07, 2011



渐渐发现自己学会了当一块海绵。


也渐渐发现自己学会了当一只布偶。


窗外的凤凰花开了,又一年了吧。

Thursday, September 22, 2011

谢谢妳的一堂课

她脸上的笑容跟常人都一样灿烂,但她的脸孔就是跟常人有点不一样。

实习的日子终于开始了。现在的生活真的很忙碌,也很充实。
每天从7am到5pm的‘上课’时间,就好像普通上班族一样,只是有时候得待在医院守夜而已。
剩下的少许时间就只好拿来埋头苦读那些一本又一本厚厚的医学书。 :(
所以娱乐及写部落的时间自然减少了~

我的第一个posting是儿科,所以我大多数的早晨都是在小孩子们的哭声中度过。
但我好像没看见她哭过。
那天帮她做检查到一半时她还睡着了呢。

是否曾想过自己的孩子如果是唐氏综合症 aka Down Syndrome 的话,你会怎么做?
哭?接受不了?
自己照顾或是送到智障中心?

多年前,我有机会随着佛教会佛学营的同伴们一起到一所智障中心拜访。
那儿90%的儿童都是华人。
工作的热心人士们都是印裔朋友,他们告诉我们多数华人都不愿意带着他们。
就算是亲生的孩子,带在身边也只是拖油瓶。其中的父母只是不定时,三五个月才来探望他们。
其余的呢?早已人间蒸发,丢下孩子不理了。

智障中心的工作人员都是自愿服务的。
政府或非政府组织的每个月津贴好像时而多,时而少,时而有,时而无。

当津贴不够或是没了,
又或者热心人士们无法帮忙了,
那些孩子会怎样了呢?

我们只是帮忙打扫四周,跟他们玩一玩,筹了点钱给负责人之外,什么也做不了。

多年后,我看见她满用心地照顾她。
 唐氏综合症的病人多数会有心脏有孔的问题出现。
她的心房 (ventricle) 中间的心墙 (septum)有着一个很大的洞孔。
她身体不好一直受细菌感染,让她无法如期得到该有的免疫注射,也无法进行手术把洞孔问题搞好。

两天后,她的细菌感染好转了,可以回家了。
我微笑地告诉她 “没事就好了。”
她也苦笑地说 “不知几时会再回来。”
我们彼此都知道事情没那么简单。
我心里酸了一下。

第一次看尸体叫恶心,第100次看尸体叫习惯。所以我的心也只酸了几秒钟,只是多了份感触。

到我真的佩服她对她的勇敢及付出。因为我也不知道我是否能像她一样伟大。

也很谢谢她让我上了医学加心灵的一堂课。

她好像也算是医院的常客吧。只希望她日后不需要再一直造访医院。
 
 不管脑袋好不好,我只希望靠着自己一点一点的努力慢慢往行医者的路走下去。
p/s 慢慢不代表可以怠慢哦。我不要考试不及格然后留级 T.T


Friday, September 02, 2011

《鲸鱼女孩,池塘男孩》



天空不会一直都是蔚蓝色。

白云不会一直都不被污染。

鸽子也不仅仅有黑白两色。

事情也会出现燃尽的残余。

但就算是徘徊在灰色地带,也别忘了色彩璀璨的彩虹。



如果天空的颜色是灰色,

如果白云受了严重的污染变灰色,

如果白鸽被浓烟熏得或黑鸽被漂白得变成灰色,

如果事情毅然呈现燃尽的灰色残余像股市般令人崩盘,

那就记得还有一只,不,也许几只鲸鱼,依然是你色彩璀璨的彩虹。


这是读到第十章,看着池塘男孩的遭遇所想到的。没有任何事物都一直处于完美状态,所以自己得学会如何走出灰色地带。 有时候,在跌倒后勇敢地爬起来往前奔跑没有想象中那么辛苦。让人胆怯的不是环境,而是个人想法。


“电影好不好看,不是制作电影的人讲的,而是看电影的人讲的。”

书里的其中一句是这么写的。
也许觉得自己很糟,但给自己评价的也许不是自己,是观看你的人。


《鲸鱼女孩,池塘男孩》 蔡智恒著

作者的第十本书,不错的说。怎么不错?自己读吧 :)

今晚终于把它读完了,可以接下一本书,To kill a mockingbird by Harper Lee。此外,也得为开学准备,读点医学书了。整个假期都没怎么动到医学知识,脑袋应该已朽透了 :(

p/s : 照片是上个月在海滩照下的。觉得这照片蛮适合池塘男孩,当他凝视着大海想变成它那样。