云朵与杂草的故事

天空中漂浮的云朵每一天都到世界的各角落流浪

白天太阳照耀时，他们看见前方的路该怎么走

但黑夜笼罩的时候，他们依然可以随正方迈进吗?

今晚的夜空有月亮明照，但照得了每一个方向吗？

今晚，又会有哪朵云迷路了呢？

翌日，当浓雾迷蒙时，他们又找的回原来的路吗？

也许，过了一夜，原本的路早已大大不同了。那他们又该怎么办？





路边的杂草，永远只能静静地呆在原地

他们无法移动，无法选择自己想要的容身之处

身旁的杂草堆，就是他们分享喜怒哀乐的好知己

也许那天天阴，某只小蜻蜓会停留在他的肩膀上

倾听他诉说过往的美好和未来的无知

风一吹，他还来不及说完，小蜻蜓又飞走了

他又在等待下一只小蜻蜓的出现

他告诉身边的杂草说好要一直随伴

某天，原来身边的杂草其实是个蒲公英

种子开满后随风飘走了，剩下的只有残余

于是，他没了小蜻蜓和蒲公英。都被大自然的风给带走了。





 同一片草原

高空的云朵失去了方向

地面的杂草多了份寂寞

昼夜依然交替着，风依然飘着，生活依然要过着。

不关事

快乐，是自找的，不是伸手可要的。
泪水，是自找的，不是伸手想要的。


电车，有人上车，有人下站。
人生，有人进来，有人出去，有人被赶出去。


有些事情，不是不懂，只是不想懂。
有些事情，不是不懂，只是宁可假装不懂。

Neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) posting

Truly an extremely tiring posting. Every morning, we have to be in ward before 730, or in another word, before prof comes. Wash your hands and scrub your hands, repeatedly, repeatedly, and repeatedly...Basically  3 ward rounds daily, then we rush for tracking results and radiographes, help getting ABG results. And one more thing -  3 oncalls in one week WTH! Honestly, we couldn't learn much nor having own time for self-study as we need to be in the ward no matter how unless we have classes. Those doctors in ward were so busy too as there were so many procedures to be done and so many sick babies to be taken care of. Hate the arrangement but salute the spirit of those doctors, especially Prof Noraida.

One thing i love was the sucking reflex from babies. One of the most useful way to stop them from crying. There was one macrosomic baby, we named him as Abang Bob, was born with weight 5.96 kg. Hmm, surely one of the cutest babies there, and this is what the public usually think of. Big baby is definitely not a good new! (of course not to be underweight) This poor little giant needed to be observed and on IVD with glucose due to his on-going hyperinsulinemia. Hope he will get well soon. Apart from him, i saw some syndromic babies too. One of them was having the prune-belly syndrome. I wonder how bad the prognosis can be due to the malformation of abdominal wall and all the others GIT problems.

Anyway, one week has tortured me enough. I want to get enough rest and also prepare for the coming exam. Good luck to those entering NICU posting soon. Be prepared!

20件必干的事 20 things you have to try in your lifetime

20 things you have to try in your lifetime.

1 大胆反对。Be brave to say NO!
2 必须有帮志同道合的哥儿们。Have a gang of great bro.
3 认真呼吸一次阳光的味道。breath the smell of sunshine at least once.
4 卖萌无罪，童心就好。Nothing wrong to be innocent.
5 回一次中学念书的地方。Pay a visit to your high school's classroom.
6 读一本一直没有时间读的书。Read a book that you always didn't have the time for it before.
7 来场一个人的旅行。Travel alone to somewhere.
8 认真谈一场恋爱。一场，就够了。Fall in love for once. Just be serious for it one time.
9 最好，会一门乐器。Learn a musical instrument.
10 如果有，用心照顾你的宠物。Take good care of your pet, if you have any.
11 坚持写作，即使你不是个作家，你仍然有很多东西可以抒发。Continue writing even if you are not a good writer. You will always have a lot more to write for your life.
12 知道什么重要，什么可以烧掉。Know your important stuffs, toss those not important one.
13 找到一片只有你们知道的地方。Find a secret place for your gang.
14 跑道废弃的屋顶创作。write a song for yourself in an abandoned rooftop.
15 去一次摇滚音乐节。Join a rock musical festival for once.
16 学会一个人走自己的路。Learn how to walk your own way.
17 找到接近自然的方法。Get close to nature.
18 钟爱一项运动。Be mad at one sport.
19 学会动手装扮自己的窝。Decorate your own living.
20 有时候，你需要一个欣赏你的画作的人。Find someone that feels proud of having you.

摘于微博~

一直在改变

蓝天的云每天都改变着不同样的图案
花园的花每天都有会残败枯萎的痕迹
很多事情也是一样，一直在改变，不曾停下脚步
甚至一些你一直都小心翼翼呵护着的，珍惜着的，也许某天你还是没有挽留的机会
剩下的，只有你带着脸颊的泪水微笑着 :') 心却是流着血 :'(

为何花儿会枯萎？
为何任何事都可能会有突变的机率？

"Nothing is permanent in this world. The only certainty is uncertainty."

Obstetrics & Gynaecology Posting

     I would like to say that this posting is really one of my favourite. In the beginning, when i first knew that i would be in team C, the busiest team among the four, i was so frustrated. Covering cases was a must for us, which irritated me the most as i really hated covering cases in ward. It was just a waste of time in my thought but my mind changed after we joined the team soon. Finally i could see what was the purpose of covering cases. We discussed cases among ourselves, we cleared our doubts by asking the MOs (they were really willing to teach, unlike most of the other postings). The specialist stayed back each time after ward round to teach us something, which was really a huge difference from specialist of other wards, where some even didn't bother us at all. I didn't really mind to wake up very early in the morning and spent hours in ward each day of this posting as it was worth to do so. Hmm, i guess so.

     Everything was well organized. The classes, clinics, on-calls, just that we were a bit rush for the clinical teachings owing to the delay from the first few weeks. We learned and we practiced what we learn throughout the discussions with not just students, but also doctors. I felt like we were being respected and appreciated. It felt good man. Just that if the queen of team C was not that scary and treated us nicer, the team would be absolutely a perfect team for me. Anyway, i felt very grateful for everyone in team C that taught us and also my teammates, where we really worked as a team in covering cases and helping each other in study.

     There was another funny moment when we were having seminar with Prof S where he asked one of my friends "when was your last wet dream?" And, my friend answered it in few seconds without hesitating much. Prof didn't really expect him to answer it as this was a private stuff right? Soon after hearing the answer, the whole class burst into laughter. Oh my god! Luckily i was not the one who got the question.

     One of the most exciting thing in this posting would definitely about conducting the delivery. I conducted 5 deliveries and this was the very first time in my life. I still remembered that i was with my second patient for 3 hours inside the labour room. She was so scared about delivery and couldn't take her hands off my hands when the contraction pain came. She needed to grab my hands. Well, why me? It was all because her husband went out to pray for 2 hours!!! I wondered why he took so long to pray? Wasn't your wife important too?! You should be there as a responsibility of good husband, right?! Anyway i was okay with that. And i really felt touched when the patient kept saying thank you to me after the delivery. Later, in the midnight during my on-call, there was another patient yelling so loud and her eyes kept having nystagmus when the baby was about to come out. I was a bit uneasy during that time. I was just scared if the mother became eclamptic lol.

     Obviously i still lack of knowledge due to my laziness. Final posting for my fourth year already (unless i failed anyone of them and need to come back for remedial posting) and I was a bit homesick. It certainly drove my attention away from study. Anyway it's holiday now. Gonna enjoy my holiday first before i go for my elective haha.

Happy holiday everyone. :)

我站在顶峰的平原守着仰望的身段

那如幼犊不惧不畏的花蕾散着芬芳

夏天过的花蕾们离开温室包囊绽放

唯独一朵已习惯了温室的安全感而害怕室外的如坐针毡的阳光



我站在顶峰的平原望着远方的烟花

 那如天堂栩栩如生的美好深雾朦胧
 
弯月边的繁星们争夺光耀傲气绽放

唯独一颗已受够了光线的冷嘲声而害怕断堤的温热泪水的煎熬



我的沮丧，不需要上演给观众看。

我的沮丧，不是你的逻辑可以思考的习题。

我的沮丧，不是你可以胡乱挥霍的不要脸的资本。

Neuroscience Posting

Well. 2 weeks of neuroscience posting is DEFINITELY not enough! We got really a lot of stuffs to cover, not to mentioned to hectic classes and teachings and whatever in the timetable. Neuroscience is not an easy subject in medicine obviously. I could see that doctors were expecting us to remember the knowledge from phase 2 and to know how to interpret those radiographes. Well, honestly, and very obviously, i did really bad in it as I was so lazy to study (post-psychiatry posting syndrome). That's really bad, right?

And i just had my earliest class in my whole forth year. 7am class with Prof J! And i was late by 10 minutes lol. Luckily he didn't get angry and scold me. But anyhow, i was like a fool also during that teaching for rushing from ward to computer to clinic to books just to find the one question he asked me to find out. What a good exercise before my exam in the afternoon on the same day :S

Hey i am telling myself to be more hard-working in coming O&G posting! Good luck yeah! (I must to!!!)

Psychiatry Posting

4 weeks? No, we got only 3 weeks as we had one week to get our butt lying at home! :)

Honestly, i was quite excited to enter this posting. It grabbed my interest the most compared to other postings so far. You don't study all those boring facts like you study in other posting. You don't clerk for history, you are just listening to stories. That's why i love clerking the patients in this posting lol :) Furthermore, you really have a lot more free time to do the things u like. Me? I finished 2 novels in 3 weeks time and watched a lot of doraemon lol haha.

Overall, it's quite free compared to other postings. As this is not the most important posting for our lives later as a doctor (unless you choose the psychiatry as specialty), doctor won't be expecting us to know too much about the knowledge here except those important ones. The doctors were so willing to teach us also. They discussed with us about the patients, asked for our opinions and listened to what we said. It made me feel like we were being appreciated. The leader also done a great job in managing the classes throughout the posting. Good job bro!

Enjoy the psychiatric posting if you haven't been through it. It's gonna to be happy posting!

Medical Posting

Hmm, another terrible and busy posting.

Basically it was all about ward round, classes, and study study study. We actually needed to follow the ward round every morning but it was really time-wasting for me. I really hate the ward round as the doctors were so busy with their routines and didn't really teach us or guide us anything unless we asked question. Being proactive was really a good way (perhaps the only way) if you really want to learn something from them, but i am not that type of person obviously. For the first two weeks, i didn't hear any word from the registrar talking to us.

ORL-HNS posting

Another 3 weeks has passed. Quite a short posting.

ORL-HNS = Otorhinolaryngology - Head And Neck Surgery

Not to say it was an interesting posting, but not really boring either. As usual, it was packed with clinics and classes but without any oncall. People usually will say that it's a honeymoon posting, but for me, hmm, not really. We got to study quite a lot of anatomy and diseases in merely 3 weeks,

ophthalmology posting + community eye service

It's was only a 3 weeks posting, but we learned a lot from it. As this posting was quite organized, we really could benefit a lot from it even though sometimes it was quite hectic. Doctors here was super nice. I could see they really put efforts in teaching us.

没有尝试，就永远不会懂故事的结果。

想要尝试，就只是因为好奇那还不懂的结果。

Orthopaedic Posting

Honestly, i don't really like orthopaedic stuffs. The feeling is like when i was studying physic in secondary school. (i don't like physic either).

Well, orthopedic was a totally different posting compared to surgery posting. I meant the the way how it was organized. Unlike surgery, everything has been arranged & scheduled nicely. Just that you got to wake up early to sign to your attendance before the clerk take away the attendance sheet. Next, you go for ward rounds, clinics, seminars and clinical teachings as scheduled, and also depending on which team you are in. After around 5pm, you will be allowed to go back and study at your room. I was in the spine team. The doctors were damn nice. They spoon-fed everything to us. The only drawback was i had to stick with spine things for 6 weeks, where i could hardly study stuffs from other teams. And i really hoped that my CT could be better. Almost every time doctor would be kept commenting on our history and after that, time was already spent up and he couldn't teach us much about PE. Till now, my PE still sucks!

Moreover, you may have to go for on-call occasionally if your team is in charged on that night. Luckily, i didn't have much on-calls, where i could have more free time for my study (or more time to waste?). Anyway, you can still learn a lot through on-call. you can see "fresh" cases like those mva cases in emergency ward, do dressing on those "fresh" wounds and learn the way how doctor manage the casualties there.

Hmm, not much 'great' procedures i have done in this posting. One STO, some dressings and assisted in some POPs. That's all. I knew that i should be more aggressive and asking more questions but honestly, i was quite tired with the log book requirements already and i chose not to chase blindly after signatures in log book. It was stupid attitude. And my reading was clearly not enough, most of the time i didn't really know what to ask and didn't even know what the doctors were talking about. Haiz. What a bad attitude!

My supervisor? Dr Halim, head of department! Omg! Till now, i am still scared of him. He scolded me few times during ward rounds as i couldn't cover my cases well. If i am smart enough to cover all cases fully and yet, manage to study well, i will definitely do it. But obviously i couldn't make it. I am so sorry to my doctors, and also my teammates, especially Prof Chong. My examiner? Dr Mohammad! Another scary doctor! Thanks god he was free finally after delaying for 3 times. I managed to answer those questions asked by him, even though i knew that my performance was just mediocre. Hopefully i was good enough to pass the posting.

Eventually, my turn to go home! My mood was so badly affected in the last week of orthopedic. I didn't really have the 'mood' to study for exam already. I missed my home sooooo much because i has been away from home for almost 5 months already. I felt so guilty for not studying well enough even though it was already the final week but i just couldn't control my mind. I needed a getaway and a nice rest after a long run in 4th year.


Therefore, as usual, i still couldn't manage to finish studying what i planned initially. Haiz. I knew i was quite lazy throughout this posting. Aargh! Got to be more hard-working next time!

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Holiday to everyone! :D

BKA

BKA aka below knee amputation, is a surgery which cut off your leg at a measured level below knee.

This is the operation I saw during my second orthopaedic oncall during last Monday night. The patient was the one I clerked before for case report last month. He was actually admitted once last month due to diabetic foot. Ray’s amputation was done before he was discharged. And I thought that he would be okay after that. However, after another 10 days , he revisited our ward again due to the spreading of gangrene again in his left foot.

He said when he was in clinic, the doctor cut through his foot and found a lot of pus inside his foot. It’s a sad thing when you thought that you are already recovered after removing part of your foot, and now the doctor tells you that you have to remove another bigger piece of your leg. His wife once told me before that they were actually having some financial restraints. Even with the help from government’s welfare, it was just enough to drive through their routines. All his children but the eldest one are still schooling. He can no longer work as he feel tired most of the time. ( fatigue is one of presentation for diabetic patients, not that they are lazy. ) His wife can only earn a few hundred bucks by working in a school canteen.

During morning round, our doctor told him that BKA needed to be done on him as the foot was already not viable and also to prevent the colonization of microorganism there. He agreed without thinking too much. He understood. Just that I could not understand why he could be so calm when someone told him that his foot needed to be removed? I guess if I am him, I am gonna cry a whole day long.

Sometimes, it might be just an ordinary operation for us as medical students or doctors, but it plays a huge part for patient’s life. It might be vital for survival but it does affect a lot on patient. I just feel like the psychosocial part is a important part also in managing patient. They are human being, their hearts are still pumping, they still have their feelings which we can never ignore it. Don’t blame them if they are reluctant to accept your decision of management, especially the more invasive one, but try to understand why they feel that way. It does not always appear to be the good choice. It might treat the disease but not necessarily the patient himself.

Appreciate your patients as they are helping you in becoming a doctor. Without them, you can never be a doctor. That’s what I feel and learn from him.